In this podcast, Happy Brain Trainers Kay Cooke and Tracey Hutchinson (British Horse Society coach) discuss the importance of language in riding instruction, emphasising the impact of both rider and coach’s words. They highlight that negative instructions, such as “don’t grip with your legs,” can inadvertently prompt the opposite behaviour. The conversation stresses the effectiveness of positive, clear instructions like “sit up straight” and the significance of tonality. They also explore the concept of NLP presuppositions, where phrasing instructions in a positive manner can influence the rider’s mindset and performance. The discussion touches on the psychological aspects of riding, including the rider’s internal language and the horse’s response to the rider’s state of mind.
A busy and fruitful month of May has passed, and I am excited to share with you some key reflections that may resonate with and inspire your personal wellbeing journey.
**Like Attracts Like**
In mid-May, I had the pleasure of assisting in a Neuro Hypnotic Repatterning program in Italy with Dr. Richard Bandler. This program delves into immersing the mind-body in positive chemistry, unlocking the brain’s creative solutions centre. This experience of being part of a super high-calibre team, highlights the importance of surrounding oneself with excellence and raising personal standards of responsibility.
*Reflection:*How can you seek out and integrate systems of excellence in your daily life?
**Feedback to Feedforward**
Throughout May, I delved into personal metrics to assess my growth, including staying grounded in chaotic environments, embodying calm and confident states, and maintaining centeredness. Taking responsibility for the feedback loop of my mind-body connections has significantly improved my life.
*Reflection:* What personal metrics are you using to enhance your well-being and growth?
**Calibrating**
Whilst engaged in seminars in Italy and London during May, many discussions centred around techniques for family stability. We believe and teach that true flourishing requires the understanding of family dynamics, rather than simply managing symptoms. As a result, I’m excitedly making plans to reintroduce live workshops that support families in navigating their unique systems.
*Reflection:* How can you deepen your understanding of your family system to foster growth and stability?
**Collaborating**
The theme of collaboration resonated strongly among my peers in May, emphasising the value of authentic partnerships driven by shared values and skills. In times of rising consciousness, genuine connections and alliances are most definitely key to fostering growth and success. That means less shallow partnerships for economic or glamour gains.
*Reflection:*Since none of us are as smart as all of us, how do you align with others on or above your wavelength, to incubate and propagate mutual growth and success?
May has been a month of growth, reflection, and connection. Perhaps my insights have tickled yours? If so, please share what you apply to your personal journey for enhancing well-being and happiness. Kx
This month’s focus is more on the neurotransmitter Serotonin, with an anecdote is about a 12-year-old client who set up his own empirical study of the effects of boosting serotonin.
Having taught Balloon Breathing to 12-year-old Jake, he still wasn’t convinced that he could reproduce the ‘in the moment relaxation’ I had induced in him.
You see his daily stress around homework and revision was grinding him down and generalising in other areas of life.
So, we made a plan for him to set up his own trial of the effects of both ‘preparing’ and ‘not preparing’ his body and mind for the tasks of homework and revision.
He was blown away with the results of Balloon Breathing and Body Balance (two techniques from our Calm Confidence Kit). Not only did he feel more relaxed while on task, but his grades improved AND he chose to practice these techniques during school tests. What impressed me most was his use of an Excel sheet to plot his own evidence!
Because that’s the secret to happy living – setting up your own bio-feedback system for self-improvement success. After that, it doesn’t take long for the mind to start trusting the positive direction of thrive sensations.
Jake boosted his serotonin levels. And to me that’s literally Sunshine Thinking because he learned to make a better decision about ways to brighten his days!
You probably know that serotonin is often referred to as the happiness molecule and is a neurotransmitter that can be boosted by relaxation, exercise, diaphragm breathing, and many other things, including diet. Did you know that 90% of your body’s serotonin is created and stored in your gut, reinforcing the importance of good gut health!
Here’s a short exercise that helps your neuro-bio-physiology relax. Do your own calibration and feel the effects of doing this and remember that it is easily teachable to young ones (e.g. preparing their brains for doing homework or tests).
Hold up your non-dominant hand (NDH) palm facing you.
Point to it with the other hand.
Place your pointing finger on the base of your NDH wrist.
Slowly trace up and down each of your fingers, noticing the sensations of skin on skin, in both directions.
Swap hands and calibrate any difference.
Tune into the physical sensations that your nervous system is providing you with.
Continue very slowly until you feel more relaxed.
To deepen the practice, you can bring awareness to your breath and keep doing the finger slide while coordinating a slow in-breath as you ascend each finger and a long out-breath with each descent. Hopefully you have now mindfully engaged your Parasympathetic Nervous System!
Note: this exercise activates both right and left brain hemispheres, boosts THRIVE neuro-chemicals like serotonin and oxytocin, and helps bring brain waves into Alpha wave coherence.
“We need 4 hugs a day for survival, 8 hugs a day for maintenance, and 12 hugs a day for growth” Virginia Satir
World-renowned family therapist.
This quote emphasises the importance of physical touch to help us feel safe, belonging, calm, connected and trusting. All of which boost individual immune systems and support community wellbeing. Hugs help release a cascade of thrive neuro-chemistry, especially oxytocin.
Hugs are fuel for better family and social systems; a great investment for our children’s children’s children …
But what about people who are hug deficient, socially isolated, emotionally lonely? What can we do to boost this neuro-chemical that is so essential for wellbeing?
Can we bio-hack an oxytocin boost?
Yes, we can.
6 tips to optimise oxytocin levels for yourself and for others:
Come Find Me
Resonating
Gifting
Petting
H-Art
H-Artifacts
Come Find Me Check out the work of neuroscientist Jill Bolte Taylor who, upon regaining consciousness after a stroke, observed that medical staff and visitors were functional but detached. She describes feelings of being trapped inside her mind and body and yearning to plead: ‘Here I am, I’m in here, come find me…’
I’ve heard this yearning from many clients.
You can do that for someone (go find them…) by taking off your critical lens, your analytical thoughts and judgements and simply being present with the wonderful specimen of a human being who is being alive right in front of you.
Resonating
Whether you’re talking to someone face to face, over the garden fence or through social media, giving your full, undivided attention is a gift for both parties. This boosts a mind-body sensation where you feel a powerful energetic plug-in to another human.
Learn to tune up ALL your senses to be present with and for a significant other person, with your own whole being. It may take a bit of practice to let go of thoughts that try to convince you that your inside world is more valid than what’s occurring in the space between you, but try it. And feel the difference.
Gifting
Boost your neurochemistry of connection to and with others when you do things without the need for recognition. Make the art of authentic giving your new superpower. It can be:
A bloom from the garden, a special meal, a heartfelt gesture.
A gesture, hug, cuddle, caress, hand hold.
A compliment, giggle, smile.
A helping hand with chores or running a bath for someone.
Petting
Pets mirror our moods and petting them soothes stress levels in both parties by lowering cortisol and blood pressure while boosting oxytocin. Look up the data on Pets As Therapy! Soft, smooth rhythmic petting – especially skin-on-skin – stimulates calming neurochemistry and slower brain waves.
H-Artful
Draw, paint or colour heart shapes on stones, on paper, on anything! You are (re)setting your sub-conscious mind to loving associations. Kids do this naturally –when did you stop?!
Visualise your heart as a personal space for your loved ones to nestle, where you keep them cozy, warm and wrapped up in your purest love.
Play a game with your where you roll a dice and describe the sensations of feeling love in that number of words. For example, rolling the number 3 would lead to describing some sensations of love in three words, such as warm, rising, pink.
H-Artifacts
Look at your household artefacts and subjectively measure the level of associated emotional that your brain has anchored. Based on this ‘audit’ you can re-arrange common areas so that your daily view of pictures, photos, ornaments etc, maximise your happy chemicals. What’s the first and last thing you look at each day?
Dedicate time to looking through photos that bring back happy memories of times shared with loved ones. Celebrate these feelings.
Every word, every utterance, carries an electro-chemical charge that affects your nervous system.
Words have power.
I can say the word ‘spider’ to 10 people and each person will build a unique image inside their minds. One that fits their personalised mental mapping/interpretation of that word.
I can say ‘vicious spider’ and some people will laugh; others will recoil in terror.
Some will imagine a cartoon spider, perhaps wielding a sword, others may see death jaws and claws.
The interpretation of any word is subjective. Yet that meaning will instigate a floodgate of FEELINGS i.e. neuro-chemicals.
Words are spells.
Many people are careless with words. Many people are wounded by words.
People are also strengthened by words.
Words carry powerful energies.
Tune into the intensity of your response to the following phrases.
You should know better.
You should have known better.
You might know better next time.
If you don’t feel the shift in your brain’s processing of these word combinations, call me. You should. You should know the great power of word-smithing. Because you are being bombarded by wordsmiths.
Every. Single. Day. Be they cunning and manipulative OR sloppy and ignorant.
To know is to reclaim your brain.
TAKE AN EVERY DAY CONVERSATION ABOUT A NEWS ITEM:
“They were REALLY AWFULL. They are such ignorant bigots who deserve what they get.”
= Fact-less opinions with a poisoned arrow of invitation into heavy emotional entanglement.
“I didn’t enjoy that. I found myself willing them to open their hearts, but it didn’t happen.”
= Personal opinion with a tangle-free opportunity to respond.
“Well, that’s not for me!”
= Honest statement as a platform to move the conversation onward.
Know the difference between facts, feelings, opinion, and imagination.
FACTS
Verifiable by the outside world.
FEELINGS
The meaning that your brain interprets with positive or negative emotions.
OPINION
How you see the situation.
IMAGINATION
How the situation could become better or worse.
GET CLARITY! And help your young ones to know these differences!
But those words and phrases don’t just happen out loud. No! The most toxic words can happen inside your mind.
So you really should start listening to your everyday vocabulary. Make sure you include:
Owning your opinion (I think)
Owning your emotion (I feel)
Empower Yourself!
In week one of Happy Brain training, we include an exercise to wake up your word-smart filters. It’s called The Fun-Shine Alphabet. Try it!
Take each letter of the alphabet and find fabulous words that make your brain, mind and body feel shiny, happy and joyful. It’s a Mini Mind Spa. Flush some happy chemicals through your system each day and format some positive language into your auto-pilot.
The magic starts inside your mind.
In which direction you choose to utilise your word power is between you and your morality. But I wish for a more kind, compassionate, tolerant, peace-seeking, curious, explorative, loving, fun, happy, intelligent, and healthy society. And I hope you’ll join me in the intention and practice of positive transformation through word power.
Wouldn’t it be Amazing if we Aimed our brains in Beautiful, Creative, Displays of Energised, Feelings, Growing, Hopeful, Imaginations, Joyfully, Kind and Loving, with Marvellous, Nourishment, of Opulent Playfulness, Quirky Resilience, with Shiny,Terrific Understanding and Violet-light Wonderment that leads to X-cellent, Yummy, Zinging!!!
Creatives love creating and marketers love marketing. How do you combines these? My honest account of a challenging journey!
July was momentous for me – I finally succumbed to the marketing promise of ‘beating the algorithm’. It’s a business, after all, right? Yet, I felt deeply uncomfortable. Being called Pollyanna many times, I naïvely thought, “just write the books, and people will read them”. But, as it turns out, that’s not the case …
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