Your brain is a prediction-making system.
It uses what has happened before to anticipate what is likely to happen next.
Usually, that’s useful.
But in families, it can create an interesting trap.
If your child has argued about homework every evening this week, you may already be expecting tonight’s argument before they even walk through the door.
If they usually become upset when you say no, you may brace yourself for the reaction before you’ve even answered.
If mornings are normally chaotic, you may wake up already anticipating the chaos.
And once your brain expects a familiar pattern, it becomes very good at finding evidence that the pattern is happening again.
So perhaps an interesting question for parents is:
What am I expecting my child to do next?
And then: Am I noticing what is actually happening — or am I looking for evidence that the familiar pattern is repeating?
Because our expectations don’t only change what we notice.
They can change how we enter the interaction too — our tone of voice, our body, the questions we ask, how quickly we intervene and what we assume something means.
And that can leave a child with surprisingly little room to do something different.
Sometimes creating change doesn’t begin with changing the child.
It begins by loosening our certainty about what is going to happen next.
What might become possible if this moment didn’t have to follow the usual script?
Happy Brain Next Generation
Helping adults understand what sits beneath behaviour.
As @thehappybraintrainer I help people empower their personal wellbeing and bite-sized chunks is so often the way to go!
So let’s go …
Neurochemicals are essential messengers in the brain that play a crucial role in regulating our moods, emotions, and cognitive functions. By learning how to influence the production of key neurochemicals, such as serotonin, GABA, oxytocin, dopamine, endorphin, and acetylcholine, we can nurture a healthier brain and cultivate a more fulfilling life.
There are said to be around 100 neurochemicals vital to our wellbeing, both for Survival and for Thrive, all ebbing and flowing in a multitude of combinations.
The 3 major stress chemicals are adrenaline, cortisol, and norepinephrine and they help to power fight or flight reactions, which is important in appropriate situations, but we don’t want them to dominate the quality of our brain chemistry.
My super 6 neurochemicals are no more important than the other 94, but they are listed here because they are well know, easy for you to research, and easy for us all to influence.
Serotonin
Often referred to as the ‘happiness molecule’. Essential for self- esteem and feeling calm. Promote through relaxation, deep breathing e.g. Balloon Breathing, meditation, bath soaks, and diet (e.g. good quality 85% cacao chocolate and herbs such as St. John’s Wort**)
GABA
This is known as nature’s Valium since it regulates anxiety by blocking or inhibiting stress chemicals. It also helps to support bodily movement. Promote through whole foods and vegetables, fermented foods, and herbs such as chamomile* and lavender*.
Oxytocin
Known as the hug hormone, this is essential for social bonding. Mothers and newborn babies are flooded with oxytocin (nature is very smart). Promote through skin touch e.g. hand holding, hugs, massage, cooperative activities, and herbs such as chamomile* and lavender*.
Dopamine
The feel-good reward for taking action, sets up motivation circuits. Promote through novelty, music, sport, dairy, omega 3, nuts and protein rich foods.
Endorphin
Nature’s ‘high’ that provides an analgesic effect. Promote through walking, dancing, exercise and laughter.
Acetylcholine
Helps to support memory signals, especially through deep restorative sleep. Supports movements. Promote through choline foods (eggs, fish, meats and whole grains) and herbs such as sage* and rosemary*.
*I use herbal teas and essential oils to help prepare myself – or my environment – for the task ahead.
I may want to calm my nervous system (lavender or chamomile), liven it up (bergamot or lime), or help memory (rosemary or sage).
Note – This is not prescriptive; you should always consult a health professional or medical herbalist before making
dietary changes. ***St John’s Wort is known to interact with medication – please seek advice before using.
Did you know?
o Phytochemicals in lavender inhibit sympathetic nervous system & bind with GABA receptors.
o Phytochemicals in chamomile bind with GABA receptors.
Asma Jacob is a Happy Brain Coach and therapist specialising in neurodiversity.
In this Pod Chat, Asma discusses her journey of self-discovery and the challenges of being diagnosed with dyslexia, autism, and ADHD later in life. She emphasises the importance of getting the right support and best tools for neurodivergent individuals to thrive.
Asma also highlights the concept of masking, where neurodivergent people adapt to societal expectations, often leading to mental health issues. She explores the impact of sensory processing and the use of stimming for self-regulation.
In this recording you will hear inspiring client stories, including a client who overcame significant anxiety and sensory overload to leave the house. Asma advocates for understanding and accepting one’s unique brain and providing tailored support. Asma’s work (with children and adults with learning disabilities and challenging behaviours) can be found: https://achievablejourney.co.uk
In this podcast, Happy Brain Trainers Kay Cooke and Tracey Hutchinson (British Horse Society coach) discuss the importance of language in riding instruction, emphasising the impact of both rider and coach’s words. They highlight that negative instructions, such as “don’t grip with your legs,” can inadvertently prompt the opposite behaviour. The conversation stresses the effectiveness of positive, clear instructions like “sit up straight” and the significance of tonality. They also explore the concept of NLP presuppositions, where phrasing instructions in a positive manner can influence the rider’s mindset and performance. The discussion touches on the psychological aspects of riding, including the rider’s internal language and the horse’s response to the rider’s state of mind.
In this podcast, Happy Brain Trainers Kay Cooke and Tracey Hutchinson discuss the integration of Happy Brain techniques with equestrian coaching. Tracey, a British Horse Society coach, explains how Happy Brain principles enhance rider-horse relationships by focusing on mutual understanding and connection. They highlight the shift towards a more compassionate and horse-centred approach in equestrian training, driven by social media and public scrutiny. Tracey emphasises the importance of self-awareness, body awareness, and emotional regulation for both riders and horses. They also touch on the Foundations for Excellence in Equestrian Coaching (FEEC) program, which enhances the skills for simplicity, fun, and behavioural flexibility in coaching.
Happy New Year! And while many people shift gears into their new year resolutions for a brighter year ahead, some of us in the northern hemisphere can feel a little low as vitamin D levels drop and the days are long, and dark.
Around 2 million people in the UK experience the January Blues, also known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). General recommendations for self-help include:
Staying active with whole body movements (walk, swim, yoga)
Making the most of natural light and being in nature
Doing something creative (draw, paint, write)
Taking time for self-nurture (bath, massage, reading)
Keeping in contact with family and friends (shared experiences)
Eating a healthy, balanced diet and staying hydrated
Trying something new, novel and building new brain patterns
Seeking professional help if symptoms are severe
Let’s deeper dive into ways you can help yourself and your loved ones, by focussing on a specific neuro-transmitters that is key to a happier brain:
SEROTONIN
Often referred to as the ‘happiness molecule’, serotonin is essential for self-esteem and feeling calm. You can boost serotonin through deep breathing, meditation, relaxing bath soaks and diet: chocolate (+85% cacao) , oats, dates, dairy products, eggs, fish, poultry, sesame, chickpeas, almonds, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds…
NOTE: Serotonin is depleted by sugar, smoking and alcohol.
Read on for six tips that will support your family’s serotonin levels:
Lighten Up!
As your eyes perceive light, serotonin levels naturally rise, and mood is boosted. The benefits of being immersed in nature are well documented but in the depths of winter, chasing light can feel impossible. However, you can pay attention to sunlight reflections that bounce from rivers, lakes, the ocean, waxy leaves or other reflective surfaces.
Can’t get outside? Take a glass of water and place it near a window or any reflective surface (many people suspend ‘light catchers’ in their windows and watch the mesmerizing ‘fairies’ dance across the room). Please be careful and wise about placing anything that magnifies the sun’s power as a source of fire starting!
Move!
Physical movement fires up serotonin neurons. Any movement – it doesn’t have to be classed as exercise. Routine housework chores move these signals through your body, and novel chores, e.g., clearing out a cupboard, will boost dopamine reward circuits too.
Visualise!
Switch out of your worry-brain by engaging your creative right hemisphere. For example, imagine serotonin as a trillion golden stars bathing each and every cell of your whole anatomy while glistening, shimmering and shining.
Star Breath!
Combining right hemisphere imagination with breathwork, allows you to imagine yourself breathing in (so deep it feels like your belly is expanding) ALL the shimmers into that space just below your diaphragm. Then with a slow and full outbreath, visualise photons of light flowing into the space around you. Repeat this breathing exercise until it becomes effortless, and you feel the sensations of calm.
Sharing Stars!
Have the family form a circle around one person. That person is called the Super Star. Once Super Star is ready to whoosh out their star breath into the space around them (using a long sustained out-breath), the others close their eyes, open their hands and visualise receiving the ‘shared stars’. Kids love to tune into sensations of sharing stars. This also boosts connection and cooperation (oxytocin), imagination (needed for problem solving), and attention training.
Get Creative!
Staying with the creative brain centres, why not make an indoor garden or help your kids to do this? All you need is:
• A large plate to contain the ‘garden’
• A small mirror or tin foil to represent reflections from water
• Some soil, stones or sand to represent the terrain (or use something out of date from the pantry, like lentils, coffee etc.)
• Either real plant cuttings, or artificial vegetation – Play Doh, plasticine, cardboard, pipe cleaners are starting points, but you are only limited by your imagination!
PS. Measuring the shadow and light would be a cool science experiment.
Or draw freestyle, paint while holding the brush with your non-dominant hand, or colour golden sunshine patterns on stones. All of the above helps align your sub-conscious mind with self-managed wellbeing. And this theme involves the power of the light. No wonder the ancients worshipped the sun!
PS…
FACT! Your body and mind make up one amazing system that communicates within itself and also with the outside world.
FACT! imagination stimulates electro-chemical signals that cascade throughout your nervous system.
FACT! Your body and mind in stress (real or imagined) depletes nourishing brain chemistry.
FACT! Your body and mind’s THRIVE DRIVE is something you can influence.
Do practice these simple skills to boost your Happy Brain, on purpose, with purpose and for a purpose! Make your purpose to shine!
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