While the festive season (or any family gathering) brings many challenges, physically, financially, socially, emotionally and cognitively, here is a simple guide to making the most out of our brain states during these coming weeks.
Three essential brain states play a significant role in shaping perceptions and responses to the world:
> the survival brain system – handle with care
> stress brain system – wobbles most likely
> thrive brain system – gold standard
NO1: Handle With Care! The first and most primitive brain state (which hopefully you won’t have to deal with) is the survival system; focused on prioritising physical safety through instinctual reactions such as fighting, fleeing,
or freezing.
Individuals in this state have rigid or flaccid personal boundaries and are driven by impulses to seek immediate (and often erroneous) comfort and security.
This brain state navigates life through a lens of hostility, oppression, and threats, leading to a belief in being a victim of life’s cruelties.
What you can do:
Unconditional acceptance of ‘what is’
Talk in present tense – avoid reminiscing or future projecting.
Reference agreeable sensory experience (e.g. “look at those red berries, there are carol singers on the radio, this tablecloth feels creased, the candle smells of pine, can you taste the ginger?”)
Avoid discussing (or redirect) perceptions and opinions of the wider world (especially politics).
Share happy news (not complaints) about family members.
Make no attempt to convince them their reality could/should be otherwise.
Be a beacon of inspiration by proving that you are physically, emotionally, and mentally safe to be around.
Play simple non-competitive games.
Encourage rest, hydration, nutrition, connection.
NO2: Gold Standard! By stark contrast, the thrive system, focuses on growth and development in physical, emotional, and cognitive aspects. Individuals in this state are open to constructive interactions with others, engage in self-reflection and adaptability to life’s challenges.
Curiosity becomes a driving force that propels them towards exploring their full potential, testing new possibilities, and amplifying positive outcomes. And a sense of purpose with passion for self-mastery, serve as the guiding principles of thriving in this brain state.
What you can do:
Experience a wide range of genuine emotions that include joy, peace, excitement, anticipation.
Be present to and enhance, a wide range of sensory experiences.
Exchange happy memories of the past and hopes for the future.
Play games that invite collaboration and a little competition.
Bathe in feelings of joy, laughter and loving.
NO3: Wobbles Most Likely! Somewhere in-between the first two brain states is the all too familiar stress-brain system. This state puts a premium on emotional safety by seeking connections with people and aspects of life aligning with their own emotions and experiences.
Stressed individuals seek ‘sameness’ and often compare themselves to others to establish ‘difference’ which can lead to a distorted elevation (or collapse) of self that feels familiar.
Personal boundaries may fluctuate between being overly stiff and non-existent. A lot of energy is required to filter reality for confirmation of personal control in a world of hostility.
What you can do:
Deal with difficult people through self-reflection (own/adjust your part to play in conflict – aim for win-win).
Make the environment a sensory smorgasbord that stimulates great brain chemistry by enhancing and drawing attention to positive, festive sights, sounds, smells, tastes and activities.
Look for ways to facilitate/accommodate different world views.
If troubles are aired, keep your own side of the street clean so you don’t become contaminated by collective stress.
Avoid trying to convince anyone of anything – this is the season of peace and goodwill to all (a positive brain pathways to strengthen).
Don’t try to predict a future that has many possible outcomes! Instead, drive your best life by conscious, creative curation. Aim for thrive.
Devil is in the detail, so take a long view of the bigger goal – adaptability to life’s challenges.
Make curiosity your star mindset – explore best potential relationships and amplify the joys of positive outcomes.
Make your sense of purpose to be masterful in thriving.
As @thehappybraintrainer I help people empower their personal wellbeing and bite-sized chunks is so often the way to go!
So let’s go …
Neurochemicals are essential messengers in the brain that play a crucial role in regulating our moods, emotions, and cognitive functions. By learning how to influence the production of key neurochemicals, such as serotonin, GABA, oxytocin, dopamine, endorphin, and acetylcholine, we can nurture a healthier brain and cultivate a more fulfilling life.
There are said to be around 100 neurochemicals vital to our wellbeing, both for Survival and for Thrive, all ebbing and flowing in a multitude of combinations.
The 3 major stress chemicals are adrenaline, cortisol, and norepinephrine and they help to power fight or flight reactions, which is important in appropriate situations, but we don’t want them to dominate the quality of our brain chemistry.
My super 6 neurochemicals are no more important than the other 94, but they are listed here because they are well know, easy for you to research, and easy for us all to influence.
Serotonin
Often referred to as the ‘happiness molecule’. Essential for self- esteem and feeling calm. Promote through relaxation, deep breathing e.g. Balloon Breathing, meditation, bath soaks, and diet (e.g. good quality 85% cacao chocolate and herbs such as St. John’s Wort**)
GABA
This is known as nature’s Valium since it regulates anxiety by blocking or inhibiting stress chemicals. It also helps to support bodily movement. Promote through whole foods and vegetables, fermented foods, and herbs such as chamomile* and lavender*.
Oxytocin
Known as the hug hormone, this is essential for social bonding. Mothers and newborn babies are flooded with oxytocin (nature is very smart). Promote through skin touch e.g. hand holding, hugs, massage, cooperative activities, and herbs such as chamomile* and lavender*.
Dopamine
The feel-good reward for taking action, sets up motivation circuits. Promote through novelty, music, sport, dairy, omega 3, nuts and protein rich foods.
Endorphin
Nature’s ‘high’ that provides an analgesic effect. Promote through walking, dancing, exercise and laughter.
Acetylcholine
Helps to support memory signals, especially through deep restorative sleep. Supports movements. Promote through choline foods (eggs, fish, meats and whole grains) and herbs such as sage* and rosemary*.
*I use herbal teas and essential oils to help prepare myself – or my environment – for the task ahead.
I may want to calm my nervous system (lavender or chamomile), liven it up (bergamot or lime), or help memory (rosemary or sage).
Note – This is not prescriptive; you should always consult a health professional or medical herbalist before making
dietary changes. ***St John’s Wort is known to interact with medication – please seek advice before using.
Did you know?
o Phytochemicals in lavender inhibit sympathetic nervous system & bind with GABA receptors.
o Phytochemicals in chamomile bind with GABA receptors.
Asma Jacob is a Happy Brain Coach and therapist specialising in neurodiversity.
In this Pod Chat, Asma discusses her journey of self-discovery and the challenges of being diagnosed with dyslexia, autism, and ADHD later in life. She emphasises the importance of getting the right support and best tools for neurodivergent individuals to thrive.
Asma also highlights the concept of masking, where neurodivergent people adapt to societal expectations, often leading to mental health issues. She explores the impact of sensory processing and the use of stimming for self-regulation.
In this recording you will hear inspiring client stories, including a client who overcame significant anxiety and sensory overload to leave the house. Asma advocates for understanding and accepting one’s unique brain and providing tailored support. Asma’s work (with children and adults with learning disabilities and challenging behaviours) can be found: https://achievablejourney.co.uk
In this podcast, Happy Brain Trainers Kay Cooke and Tracey Hutchinson (British Horse Society coach) discuss the importance of language in riding instruction, emphasising the impact of both rider and coach’s words. They highlight that negative instructions, such as “don’t grip with your legs,” can inadvertently prompt the opposite behaviour. The conversation stresses the effectiveness of positive, clear instructions like “sit up straight” and the significance of tonality. They also explore the concept of NLP presuppositions, where phrasing instructions in a positive manner can influence the rider’s mindset and performance. The discussion touches on the psychological aspects of riding, including the rider’s internal language and the horse’s response to the rider’s state of mind.
In this podcast, Happy Brain Trainers Kay Cooke and Tracey Hutchinson discuss the integration of Happy Brain techniques with equestrian coaching. Tracey, a British Horse Society coach, explains how Happy Brain principles enhance rider-horse relationships by focusing on mutual understanding and connection. They highlight the shift towards a more compassionate and horse-centred approach in equestrian training, driven by social media and public scrutiny. Tracey emphasises the importance of self-awareness, body awareness, and emotional regulation for both riders and horses. They also touch on the Foundations for Excellence in Equestrian Coaching (FEEC) program, which enhances the skills for simplicity, fun, and behavioural flexibility in coaching.
Recent Comments