While the festive season (or any family gathering) brings many challenges, physically, financially, socially, emotionally and cognitively, here is a simple guide to making the most out of our brain states during these coming weeks.
Three essential brain states play a significant role in shaping perceptions and responses to the world:
> the survival brain system – handle with care
> stress brain system – wobbles most likely
> thrive brain system – gold standard
NO1: Handle With Care! The first and most primitive brain state (which hopefully you won’t have to deal with) is the survival system; focused on prioritising physical safety through instinctual reactions such as fighting, fleeing,
or freezing.
Individuals in this state have rigid or flaccid personal boundaries and are driven by impulses to seek immediate (and often erroneous) comfort and security.
This brain state navigates life through a lens of hostility, oppression, and threats, leading to a belief in being a victim of life’s cruelties.
What you can do:
Unconditional acceptance of ‘what is’
Talk in present tense – avoid reminiscing or future projecting.
Reference agreeable sensory experience (e.g. “look at those red berries, there are carol singers on the radio, this tablecloth feels creased, the candle smells of pine, can you taste the ginger?”)
Avoid discussing (or redirect) perceptions and opinions of the wider world (especially politics).
Share happy news (not complaints) about family members.
Make no attempt to convince them their reality could/should be otherwise.
Be a beacon of inspiration by proving that you are physically, emotionally, and mentally safe to be around.
Play simple non-competitive games.
Encourage rest, hydration, nutrition, connection.
NO2: Gold Standard! By stark contrast, the thrive system, focuses on growth and development in physical, emotional, and cognitive aspects. Individuals in this state are open to constructive interactions with others, engage in self-reflection and adaptability to life’s challenges.
Curiosity becomes a driving force that propels them towards exploring their full potential, testing new possibilities, and amplifying positive outcomes. And a sense of purpose with passion for self-mastery, serve as the guiding principles of thriving in this brain state.
What you can do:
Experience a wide range of genuine emotions that include joy, peace, excitement, anticipation.
Be present to and enhance, a wide range of sensory experiences.
Exchange happy memories of the past and hopes for the future.
Play games that invite collaboration and a little competition.
Bathe in feelings of joy, laughter and loving.
NO3: Wobbles Most Likely! Somewhere in-between the first two brain states is the all too familiar stress-brain system. This state puts a premium on emotional safety by seeking connections with people and aspects of life aligning with their own emotions and experiences.
Stressed individuals seek ‘sameness’ and often compare themselves to others to establish ‘difference’ which can lead to a distorted elevation (or collapse) of self that feels familiar.
Personal boundaries may fluctuate between being overly stiff and non-existent. A lot of energy is required to filter reality for confirmation of personal control in a world of hostility.
What you can do:
Deal with difficult people through self-reflection (own/adjust your part to play in conflict – aim for win-win).
Make the environment a sensory smorgasbord that stimulates great brain chemistry by enhancing and drawing attention to positive, festive sights, sounds, smells, tastes and activities.
Look for ways to facilitate/accommodate different world views.
If troubles are aired, keep your own side of the street clean so you don’t become contaminated by collective stress.
Avoid trying to convince anyone of anything – this is the season of peace and goodwill to all (a positive brain pathways to strengthen).
Don’t try to predict a future that has many possible outcomes! Instead, drive your best life by conscious, creative curation. Aim for thrive.
Devil is in the detail, so take a long view of the bigger goal – adaptability to life’s challenges.
Make curiosity your star mindset – explore best potential relationships and amplify the joys of positive outcomes.
Make your sense of purpose to be masterful in thriving.
As @thehappybraintrainer I help people empower their personal wellbeing and bite-sized chunks is so often the way to go!
So let’s go …
Neurochemicals are essential messengers in the brain that play a crucial role in regulating our moods, emotions, and cognitive functions. By learning how to influence the production of key neurochemicals, such as serotonin, GABA, oxytocin, dopamine, endorphin, and acetylcholine, we can nurture a healthier brain and cultivate a more fulfilling life.
There are said to be around 100 neurochemicals vital to our wellbeing, both for Survival and for Thrive, all ebbing and flowing in a multitude of combinations.
The 3 major stress chemicals are adrenaline, cortisol, and norepinephrine and they help to power fight or flight reactions, which is important in appropriate situations, but we don’t want them to dominate the quality of our brain chemistry.
My super 6 neurochemicals are no more important than the other 94, but they are listed here because they are well know, easy for you to research, and easy for us all to influence.
Serotonin
Often referred to as the ‘happiness molecule’. Essential for self- esteem and feeling calm. Promote through relaxation, deep breathing e.g. Balloon Breathing, meditation, bath soaks, and diet (e.g. good quality 85% cacao chocolate and herbs such as St. John’s Wort**)
GABA
This is known as nature’s Valium since it regulates anxiety by blocking or inhibiting stress chemicals. It also helps to support bodily movement. Promote through whole foods and vegetables, fermented foods, and herbs such as chamomile* and lavender*.
Oxytocin
Known as the hug hormone, this is essential for social bonding. Mothers and newborn babies are flooded with oxytocin (nature is very smart). Promote through skin touch e.g. hand holding, hugs, massage, cooperative activities, and herbs such as chamomile* and lavender*.
Dopamine
The feel-good reward for taking action, sets up motivation circuits. Promote through novelty, music, sport, dairy, omega 3, nuts and protein rich foods.
Endorphin
Nature’s ‘high’ that provides an analgesic effect. Promote through walking, dancing, exercise and laughter.
Acetylcholine
Helps to support memory signals, especially through deep restorative sleep. Supports movements. Promote through choline foods (eggs, fish, meats and whole grains) and herbs such as sage* and rosemary*.
*I use herbal teas and essential oils to help prepare myself – or my environment – for the task ahead.
I may want to calm my nervous system (lavender or chamomile), liven it up (bergamot or lime), or help memory (rosemary or sage).
Note – This is not prescriptive; you should always consult a health professional or medical herbalist before making
dietary changes. ***St John’s Wort is known to interact with medication – please seek advice before using.
Did you know?
o Phytochemicals in lavender inhibit sympathetic nervous system & bind with GABA receptors.
o Phytochemicals in chamomile bind with GABA receptors.
In this podcast, Happy Brain Trainers Kay Cooke and Tracey Hutchinson (British Horse Society coach) discuss the importance of language in riding instruction, emphasising the impact of both rider and coach’s words. They highlight that negative instructions, such as “don’t grip with your legs,” can inadvertently prompt the opposite behaviour. The conversation stresses the effectiveness of positive, clear instructions like “sit up straight” and the significance of tonality. They also explore the concept of NLP presuppositions, where phrasing instructions in a positive manner can influence the rider’s mindset and performance. The discussion touches on the psychological aspects of riding, including the rider’s internal language and the horse’s response to the rider’s state of mind.
This month’s focus is more on the neurotransmitter Serotonin, with an anecdote is about a 12-year-old client who set up his own empirical study of the effects of boosting serotonin.
Having taught Balloon Breathing to 12-year-old Jake, he still wasn’t convinced that he could reproduce the ‘in the moment relaxation’ I had induced in him.
You see his daily stress around homework and revision was grinding him down and generalising in other areas of life.
So, we made a plan for him to set up his own trial of the effects of both ‘preparing’ and ‘not preparing’ his body and mind for the tasks of homework and revision.
He was blown away with the results of Balloon Breathing and Body Balance (two techniques from our Calm Confidence Kit). Not only did he feel more relaxed while on task, but his grades improved AND he chose to practice these techniques during school tests. What impressed me most was his use of an Excel sheet to plot his own evidence!
Because that’s the secret to happy living – setting up your own bio-feedback system for self-improvement success. After that, it doesn’t take long for the mind to start trusting the positive direction of thrive sensations.
Jake boosted his serotonin levels. And to me that’s literally Sunshine Thinking because he learned to make a better decision about ways to brighten his days!
You probably know that serotonin is often referred to as the happiness molecule and is a neurotransmitter that can be boosted by relaxation, exercise, diaphragm breathing, and many other things, including diet. Did you know that 90% of your body’s serotonin is created and stored in your gut, reinforcing the importance of good gut health!
Here’s a short exercise that helps your neuro-bio-physiology relax. Do your own calibration and feel the effects of doing this and remember that it is easily teachable to young ones (e.g. preparing their brains for doing homework or tests).
Hold up your non-dominant hand (NDH) palm facing you.
Point to it with the other hand.
Place your pointing finger on the base of your NDH wrist.
Slowly trace up and down each of your fingers, noticing the sensations of skin on skin, in both directions.
Swap hands and calibrate any difference.
Tune into the physical sensations that your nervous system is providing you with.
Continue very slowly until you feel more relaxed.
To deepen the practice, you can bring awareness to your breath and keep doing the finger slide while coordinating a slow in-breath as you ascend each finger and a long out-breath with each descent. Hopefully you have now mindfully engaged your Parasympathetic Nervous System!
Note: this exercise activates both right and left brain hemispheres, boosts THRIVE neuro-chemicals like serotonin and oxytocin, and helps bring brain waves into Alpha wave coherence.
Happy New Year! And while many people shift gears into their new year resolutions for a brighter year ahead, some of us in the northern hemisphere can feel a little low as vitamin D levels drop and the days are long, and dark.
Around 2 million people in the UK experience the January Blues, also known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). General recommendations for self-help include:
Staying active with whole body movements (walk, swim, yoga)
Making the most of natural light and being in nature
Doing something creative (draw, paint, write)
Taking time for self-nurture (bath, massage, reading)
Keeping in contact with family and friends (shared experiences)
Eating a healthy, balanced diet and staying hydrated
Trying something new, novel and building new brain patterns
Seeking professional help if symptoms are severe
Let’s deeper dive into ways you can help yourself and your loved ones, by focussing on a specific neuro-transmitters that is key to a happier brain:
SEROTONIN
Often referred to as the ‘happiness molecule’, serotonin is essential for self-esteem and feeling calm. You can boost serotonin through deep breathing, meditation, relaxing bath soaks and diet: chocolate (+85% cacao) , oats, dates, dairy products, eggs, fish, poultry, sesame, chickpeas, almonds, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds…
NOTE: Serotonin is depleted by sugar, smoking and alcohol.
Read on for six tips that will support your family’s serotonin levels:
Lighten Up!
As your eyes perceive light, serotonin levels naturally rise, and mood is boosted. The benefits of being immersed in nature are well documented but in the depths of winter, chasing light can feel impossible. However, you can pay attention to sunlight reflections that bounce from rivers, lakes, the ocean, waxy leaves or other reflective surfaces.
Can’t get outside? Take a glass of water and place it near a window or any reflective surface (many people suspend ‘light catchers’ in their windows and watch the mesmerizing ‘fairies’ dance across the room). Please be careful and wise about placing anything that magnifies the sun’s power as a source of fire starting!
Move!
Physical movement fires up serotonin neurons. Any movement – it doesn’t have to be classed as exercise. Routine housework chores move these signals through your body, and novel chores, e.g., clearing out a cupboard, will boost dopamine reward circuits too.
Visualise!
Switch out of your worry-brain by engaging your creative right hemisphere. For example, imagine serotonin as a trillion golden stars bathing each and every cell of your whole anatomy while glistening, shimmering and shining.
Star Breath!
Combining right hemisphere imagination with breathwork, allows you to imagine yourself breathing in (so deep it feels like your belly is expanding) ALL the shimmers into that space just below your diaphragm. Then with a slow and full outbreath, visualise photons of light flowing into the space around you. Repeat this breathing exercise until it becomes effortless, and you feel the sensations of calm.
Sharing Stars!
Have the family form a circle around one person. That person is called the Super Star. Once Super Star is ready to whoosh out their star breath into the space around them (using a long sustained out-breath), the others close their eyes, open their hands and visualise receiving the ‘shared stars’. Kids love to tune into sensations of sharing stars. This also boosts connection and cooperation (oxytocin), imagination (needed for problem solving), and attention training.
Get Creative!
Staying with the creative brain centres, why not make an indoor garden or help your kids to do this? All you need is:
• A large plate to contain the ‘garden’
• A small mirror or tin foil to represent reflections from water
• Some soil, stones or sand to represent the terrain (or use something out of date from the pantry, like lentils, coffee etc.)
• Either real plant cuttings, or artificial vegetation – Play Doh, plasticine, cardboard, pipe cleaners are starting points, but you are only limited by your imagination!
PS. Measuring the shadow and light would be a cool science experiment.
Or draw freestyle, paint while holding the brush with your non-dominant hand, or colour golden sunshine patterns on stones. All of the above helps align your sub-conscious mind with self-managed wellbeing. And this theme involves the power of the light. No wonder the ancients worshipped the sun!
PS…
FACT! Your body and mind make up one amazing system that communicates within itself and also with the outside world.
FACT! imagination stimulates electro-chemical signals that cascade throughout your nervous system.
FACT! Your body and mind in stress (real or imagined) depletes nourishing brain chemistry.
FACT! Your body and mind’s THRIVE DRIVE is something you can influence.
Do practice these simple skills to boost your Happy Brain, on purpose, with purpose and for a purpose! Make your purpose to shine!
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